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The Cost-Effective Use of Leeches
and Other Musings of a Medical School Survivor

Chop On Pop

By Jeff Drayer, M.D.

From: The Cost-Effective Use of Leeches and Other Musings of a Medical School Survivor,
Galen Press, Ltd., Tucson, AZ, 1998, page 39.

We are surgeons.
We like to chop.
We just consulted '.
On your Pop.

He's feeling dizzy.
He's got some gout.
We feel we must
Take something out.

Cause he's got an earache
And a pressure drop,
Only through surgery
Will these symptoms stop.

Medical management should be
Our first line, you say'?
Do you want your father
To die today?

No, we must start cutting!
Start at the top!
We'll remove some organs!
We'll remove some glop!

Gallbladder, vagus,
Liver biopsy too.
We can try a Wllipple.
(Those are hard to do!)

Sure it'll be messy
As we tear and lop.
He might bleed so much
We could need a mop!

But this is good for him,
It's the cut that heals.
Then we can drop some tubes
So hc can get his meals.

And if he still feels bad
Or gets a systolic plop,
If vesicles arise
On an erythematous crop,

Then bring him back in!
We rise before the sun.
We have no outside lives,
We do this for fun.

Yes, we are surgeons.
We like to chop.
We cannot wait to get
Our hands on your Pop.

©1998-2001, Galen Press, Ltd., Tucson, AZ